Tag Archives: Subway

Chau Verano, Te Mando Un Beso

8 Apr

Top Reasons Why To Love Summer In Buenos Aires:

Tits and Ass on the News

It wouldn’t be an Argentine summer without tits and ass shown on TV – and LOTS of it. Everywhere you look HOLA TETAS, HOLA CULOS.  Imagine a combination of a D-level small town news channel teaming up with Wild On E! or MTV Spring Break.


The Commercials

Argentina is known for their funny, inventive commercials – especially when summertime rolls around.  These pretty much exemplify how Argies are quite creative when it comes to publicidades.

Speedy: Oriundos Verano 2011

Sprite: De Lejos Están Todas Buenas

 

Claro: El Tema De Verano


Real and Fake Beaches

Many will say that the best Argentine beaches are in Uruguay.  But despite what these beach snobs say, there are beautiful weekend vacation spots along the Costa Atlántica.  Steer clear of the Mar del Plata craziness, the Jersey Shore’s latino cousin, and check out more relaxed destinations like Mar Azul, Cariló, Mar de Las Pampas and Villa Gesell.

Mauricio Macri at Buenos Aires Playa, wearing a stylish hat

As Artificial As The Tetas

If you can’t make it to the real beach, no need to worry – you can stay in Capital and still get the whole playa experience: yellow umbrellas, sand, beach volleyball, outdoor showers – you know, everything important minus the actual ocean. Visit Buenos Aires Playa, Peru Beach or even a plaza in your barrio and it’s almost like the real thing.

Empty Subte

Riding on the subway can be hell on earth – it’s like walking into a sauna that has never been cleaned, filled with garbage, urine, and pushy old ladies with hand fans.  But when summer rolls around, the number of sweaty men in suits slightly decreases, fatties with dripping arm pits manage not to get up in your grill, and elbowing middle aged woman (and men) tend not to push so hard to get a seat.

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WALK MOTHER F$#%^&!, F#$%^& WALK!

8 Aug

Photo LaNacion

Slow walkers suck… move asshole, I’m trying to walk here! I am sure many have experienced this on the subway, especially the escalator.  Why wait in a line just to get on an escalator when there are only 10 steps to climb? Sheer laziness? Why when on the escalator people stand still, blocking the entire width making it impossible for anybody to pass? Is this just people being utterly inconsiderate?  After some investigating, I have discovered that they are, in fact, following the rules of the subway.

1. Hold onto the railing
2. Hold hands with a child (perverts, this one’s for you)
3. Pick up your feet when you get off the escalator
4. Tie your shoes
5. **Don’t run or walk on the escalator***
6. Don’t place objects on the steps

I have nightmares about this blue man…

2 Feb

This is the creepiest subway advertisement eva… “If you have frequent heartburn, even when the subway is empty, you’ll still be uncomfortable.” The way he crosses his legs makes ME uncomfortable…

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