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Chau Verano, Te Mando Un Beso

8 Apr

Top Reasons Why To Love Summer In Buenos Aires:

Tits and Ass on the News

It wouldn’t be an Argentine summer without tits and ass shown on TV – and LOTS of it. Everywhere you look HOLA TETAS, HOLA CULOS.  Imagine a combination of a D-level small town news channel teaming up with Wild On E! or MTV Spring Break.


The Commercials

Argentina is known for their funny, inventive commercials – especially when summertime rolls around.  These pretty much exemplify how Argies are quite creative when it comes to publicidades.

Speedy: Oriundos Verano 2011

Sprite: De Lejos Están Todas Buenas

 

Claro: El Tema De Verano


Real and Fake Beaches

Many will say that the best Argentine beaches are in Uruguay.  But despite what these beach snobs say, there are beautiful weekend vacation spots along the Costa Atlántica.  Steer clear of the Mar del Plata craziness, the Jersey Shore’s latino cousin, and check out more relaxed destinations like Mar Azul, Cariló, Mar de Las Pampas and Villa Gesell.

Mauricio Macri at Buenos Aires Playa, wearing a stylish hat

As Artificial As The Tetas

If you can’t make it to the real beach, no need to worry – you can stay in Capital and still get the whole playa experience: yellow umbrellas, sand, beach volleyball, outdoor showers – you know, everything important minus the actual ocean. Visit Buenos Aires Playa, Peru Beach or even a plaza in your barrio and it’s almost like the real thing.

Empty Subte

Riding on the subway can be hell on earth – it’s like walking into a sauna that has never been cleaned, filled with garbage, urine, and pushy old ladies with hand fans.  But when summer rolls around, the number of sweaty men in suits slightly decreases, fatties with dripping arm pits manage not to get up in your grill, and elbowing middle aged woman (and men) tend not to push so hard to get a seat.

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Reduce, Reuse, Recycle in 2011

30 Dec


It’s the end of the year, a time to reflect on the past year’s events, wish loved ones a happy year to come, and bestow onto Mother Earth millions of tiny pieces of papers.  No, the photo above is not a sad attempt to simulate the holiday season’s snow.  According to Argentine tradition, on the last work day of the year it is customary to throw all unneeded documents out of the window to create a fresh start for the following year.  This ritual, similar to that of an angsty adolescent graduating from primary school, is one of the more silly spectacles I have witnessed in this country.

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Not to make a whopping generalization about an entire group of people, but porteños aren’t the most environmentally sound individuals.  The downtown remains littered for the days following the grand tossing of papers, apparently cleaning up the wasteful mess isn’t part of the tradition.

Maybe Jack Johnson should hold a seminar on The 3R’s…

Majority of the photos from TN.com.ar

Buenos Aires Playa

15 Jan

With temperatures reaching 97 degrees, where can locals go to escape the city heat? Despite a common misconception, BA is not on the ocean. Instead, it shares a cost line with the pollution-filled, sparkling doodie brown, Rio de la Plata.

The government created a place where porteños can pretend to relax at the beach, an artificial beach. Buenos Aires Playa (Buenos Aires Beach), is filled with an awkwardly placed strip of sand, lawn chairs, and a view of the dirty river.. seems like the perfect weekend, right?

To The End of the Line

12 Sep

If there is a line out the door, it must be for something amazing, right? Opening night for a huge summer blockbuster, a celebrity book signing, Black Friday sales – totally hellish sounding to me, but I get it… now how about standing in line for a half an hour for coffee, lunch at a “trendy” restaurant when there are a million other restaurants with no wait, bus when there is a subway station 4 blocks away…

It seems to me that people factor in waiting-in-line-time as part of the activity time, I have even seen waiting in line as a a facebook interest.  The anomaly of the Argentina Line, as I like to call it, continues to baffle me… it’s as if people seek out the longest line and get in the back of it, thinking maybe someone will give them 100 pesos once they get to the front.

The line at Starbucks Alto Palermo stretches out the door and curves around the block – I’m guessing an hour wait just to order. Also note that there are probably 20 other places to get good coffee within a 2 minute radius.

My theory is that people are so accustomed to waiting in line from the lack of organization, they are used to things being difficult to obtain – so a mere 45 minutes is worth the wait. Some other examples of line waiting include:

  1. Renewing of tourist visa – camping overnight just so one can renew her tourist visa all due a two week closing of the immigration office due to rain
  2. Friday afternoon bank/ATM machine
  3. 7pm Rush hour at the grocery store – I’m not exactly sure what Pago Facil is, but I always get stuck behind an old woman trying to use it when the sign at the cash register clearly says they are unable to use it
  4. Anything government oriented
  5. Retrieving movie tickets even though tickets already bought online – no distinct lines between those with tickets, and those who are trying to purchase them.

Short, curly, black hairs…

3 May

There are some advantages of living on the bottom floor of a 10- story apartment building. If there is ever a fire, you are first to leave. Also, there’s no buzzer system, so I have to manually open the door for people when they come/go – this would be very annoying if I didn’t live on the bottom floor. Continue reading

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