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Snakes On A Bus

11 Apr

Police in the Santa Fe province of Argentina arrested a man who smuggled 670 reptiles onto a bus headed for Buenos Aires.  The reptile smuggler loaded boxes and bags filled with 444 boas, vipers and other snakes; 186 endangered tortoises; 40 lizards, and an armadillo.

Suspicions arose when two bags aboard the bus began moving around – when opened, snakes were found slithering around inside.  Police were terrified to open the boxes loaded below the bus in the luggage compartment, in fear of the poisonous reptiles. The accused smuggler spent three months trapping the little creatures in the town of Santiago del Estero, with intention to sell and send to Europe.

Source:

Clarin

AFP

Of course I need a clip from my favorite Park Ranger, Brian Fellows.

Breaking News: Summer is back another year!

7 Jan

Move over MTV Spring Break and Wild On E!, Summer has hit the República! And you know what that means at all the local Argentine networks…. VAMOS A LA PLAYA!  Or a pool, or a fake beach with artificial sand, really wherever there are girls in bikinis.  Lucky correspondents and creepy cameramen have been counting down the days until the tight assed, thonged out, boluda screaming argentinas migrate to the beach to make their culos dance when the camera comes around. Each local news station dedicates about half of each show to the beach segments, forcing   sunbathers to parade in a circle and answer questions like, “do you have any tattoos?” “are your tits real?” and “what did you eat for lunch?”

It wouldn’t be complete without the inserted cheesy sound effects (boiiing), dangerous close ups on the female body, idiotic commentary about those close ups (EPAAA), and then re-watching it all over again on a nightly talk show where a “panel of experts” dissects the channel’s daily tush-montage.

“Todo Metido” Cameraman’s shadow right on the ass crack

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle in 2011

30 Dec


It’s the end of the year, a time to reflect on the past year’s events, wish loved ones a happy year to come, and bestow onto Mother Earth millions of tiny pieces of papers.  No, the photo above is not a sad attempt to simulate the holiday season’s snow.  According to Argentine tradition, on the last work day of the year it is customary to throw all unneeded documents out of the window to create a fresh start for the following year.  This ritual, similar to that of an angsty adolescent graduating from primary school, is one of the more silly spectacles I have witnessed in this country.

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Not to make a whopping generalization about an entire group of people, but porteños aren’t the most environmentally sound individuals.  The downtown remains littered for the days following the grand tossing of papers, apparently cleaning up the wasteful mess isn’t part of the tradition.

Maybe Jack Johnson should hold a seminar on The 3R’s…

Majority of the photos from TN.com.ar

Crónica TV Video of the Day

26 Dec

Man on motorcycle gets in an accident with a taxi driver in Palermo, breaks his neck along with several other body parts, blood splatters everywhere causing quite the scene.  Luckily, the man gets comfortable, crosses his legs, and is able to give a full interview while lying on his back in the middle of the street. Gotta love Crónica to get right in there and cover the story.

Argentina Census 2010

28 Oct


If you are in Buenos Aires, you’d have to be living under a rock if you didn’t hear about the national census turned into public holiday turned into mourning of ex-Presidente Néstor Kirchner on Wednesday, October 27, 2010. With census buzz wiping Buenos Aires, converting hump day into a deserted and desolate city, many remained unaware of the questions to be asked.

In case you are interested, there were 3 different cuestionarios: básico de viviendas particulares, ampliado de viviendas particulares, and finally one for those living in viviendas colectivas.

Springtime Family Fun: Bailando por un caño

17 Oct

You know you’re in for quite a treat when an Argentine television show becomes controversial for being too risque. TV in this country, infamous for huge titty close ups and even bigger thonged out ass shots (and ridiculous sound effects – boooooing!), may have to re-think the content shown during prime-time hours on public stations.  Debate arose last month as to whether the “Pole Dancing” night on Bailando por un sueño (Argies paco’ed-out version of Dancing with the Stars) was too sexually explicit for the 9pm time slot, a time when many families sit together to eat dinner, talking about their day, and watch partially nude plastic surgery nightmares slut it up by having their partners pour champagne over their exposed chest.

Simulating soft-core porn too much for TV? What should the Argentine stations do to prevent these claims that the broadcast is verging on pornographic content? The answer, change the time slot by one hour to 10pm.  If Janet Jackson’s Superbowl Wardrobe Malfunction or Bono’s Grammy F-Bomb upset FCC officials, imagine what shit would go down if they had to deal with this content.

WARNING, this video is NOT suitable for children… except for little Argies who watch Bailando Por un Sueño with the fam: Continue reading

Suck on that hair

12 Aug

A 7 year old Argentine girl apparently loves her hair so much that she can’t resist chewing away.  Doctors thought at first she may have had a cancerous growth until surgeons found a massive 700 gram hair ball in her stomach.  I like weird news.

Paying for a Nap

28 Jul
Photo courtesy of the Selfishness Hotel, killer advertisement pic

Contrary to popular belief, not all Spanish speaking countries take daily siestas. Unfortunately, Buenos Aires does not fall under that stereotype.  Praise to the sleep gods, Selfishness Siesta Hotel in the microcentro has taken the siesta to a new level.  While those of you who are familiar with a large number of bumping telos (loooove hotels) may be skeptical of the respectability, this siestario is legit.

At the Selfishness Siesta Hotel (check out video in English) nap enthusiasts can take a load off during a hard day’s work, choose some soft music, relax with calming fragrances, colored low lighting, and herbal tea – leaving refreshed and rejuvinated, all for only AR$130. If anyone is interested, I’ll charge only AR$20 pesos, make you some tea, turn on some music, and give you a cookie.

Look at these hot legs

Understaffed jail uses ball to resemble prison guard dummy, two inmates escape

21 Jul

Cast Away 2: Wilson the Prison Guard

Who is the poor guy who thought of this disastrous plan?  Prison guards in the Neuquén Province in Patagonia, Argentina had to find a quick solution to their lack of man power dilemma.  With the inspiration of Tom Hanks in Cast Away, guards created “Wilson,” a football with a guard’s cap, to guard the watchtower.  Yes, you heard right, a ball.

Continue reading

Look-Alike Game: World Cup Edition

26 Jun

The Look-Alike game is back, Argentina national team style. If there was ever a movie about the 2010 team, I know exactly who could be considered for the roles…

Sesame Street’s “Beetles” (From “The Beetles Parody”) as Lionel Messi.

Carlos Tevez played by The Geico Caveman

A Pirate as Juan Sebastian Verón

Hockey great Wayne Gretzky and the late Steve Erwin as Gabriel Heinze

Saddam Hussein (or one of his doubles) as Diego Maradona

Maradona would have fit in perfectly as one of the Saddam Look-Alikes on that episode of Arrested Development

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