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Chino en la Playa

25 Jan

Argentine commercial gold strikes again! Summer hits keep on coming, this time with “Chino en la Playa.”  You’d think a government operated program to promote summer tourism to the Atlantic Coast would abstain from creating an offensive, verging on racist, yet mildly funny campaign. Guess again.

Check out the series of videos (six in total) of the Chino en la Playa on the Argentine government’s website.

Ricardo Fort-toon: Super Fort

6 Nov

The most dreamy man in all of Argentina, Ricardo Fort, heir to the Fort candy empire, has made it big.  Not just making guest appearances on network television programs like Showmatch, or singing the song “I know you want me”, or impersonating a gay robocop / Lady Gaga singing bad romance, Ricardo Fort has become a super hero starring in his own show.

 

RIP Pulpo Paul, even if you were a nazi

4 Nov

We all know the infamous Octopus Paul who correctly predicted the 2010 World Cup games.  According to the Huffington Post,  at a young 2.5 years old, Paul the Octopus (or Pulpo Paul in Spanish) died of natural causes. While the world was saddened by this loss, Argentine media sources claim that what many people may not know about lovable Paul is that he was, in fact, a nazi.

In July of 2010 TV Personality, Roberto Pettinato, took matters into his own hands to show all those Nazi Octopussies out there, or Octo-nazis, that the public will not stand for their authoritarian scare tactics denouncing Argentine fútbol (by saying the team will lose). “Your moment has arrived, you little Nazi octopus,”  proclaimed Pettinato, as he continued to liquify the pobre Pulpo Paul look-a-like (fast forward to 1:25).

 

Che fat ass, get a nose job!

10 Jul

Argentines are known for being brutally honest.  The common extranjero may interpet this as utter rudeness, running home in tears after being called a major fatty.  Political correctness does not really exist compared to the out of control politically correct attitude in the US.  Gain a few pounds? Looking rough in the morning after a long night out? No need to worry!  I guarantee you’ll have several “friends” to call you out on it… “Estás más gorda! Qué estás comiendo?” *Basic translation: You are a fat ass, put down the fork and wire your double chinned jaw shut.

While you may think calling someone gordita (fatty), grandota (giant beast), negra (someone who is dark skinned), or china (Asian, or some with Asian features, or someone with curly hair?) isn’t very nice, it is used more as a “loving” term of a endearment.

Heading out to a costume party? Don’t be surprised if you see a number of inappropriate outfits, I’ve seen people dress in black-face, Nazi gear, and KKK robes.  In my opinion, there are two things at play here… those foreigners who are way too sensitive, and those Argentines who do not know when to shut it.

Asia de Cuba Halloween Party, 2006

Pimp my Kid

4 Jul

Just what Palermo needs, a store called Pimp my kid.  Soho is so gangsta.

Look-Alike Game: World Cup Edition

26 Jun

The Look-Alike game is back, Argentina national team style. If there was ever a movie about the 2010 team, I know exactly who could be considered for the roles…

Sesame Street’s “Beetles” (From “The Beetles Parody”) as Lionel Messi.

Carlos Tevez played by The Geico Caveman

A Pirate as Juan Sebastian Verón

Hockey great Wayne Gretzky and the late Steve Erwin as Gabriel Heinze

Saddam Hussein (or one of his doubles) as Diego Maradona

Maradona would have fit in perfectly as one of the Saddam Look-Alikes on that episode of Arrested Development

Put It Away, Diego

26 May

The Argentine God, AKA Diego Maradona, recently announced on live radio that if Argentina wins the World Cup, he will strip down to his birfday suit and run naked around the Obelisco.

I bet he’ll do it even if Argentina doesn’t win. Just google “Maradona desnudo” for a sneak peak….. you have been warned in advance, that shit ain’t pretty!

Vintage fat ass photo of Maradona

Dance Like a Flogger

14 Apr
Adapted from thewildchildren.com

If you have ever spent a day shopping at Abasto mall and saw a big sea of children dressed up all crazy, you have come across the epicenter of Flogger culture. Unlike Emos, Punks, and Goths, Floggers are a fashion trend that has become widely popular amongst Argentine teenager in the last few years.

The name “Flogger” originated from the website Fotolog, which is a photoblog website.

Photos from Ringo Muxa

Meet famous floggers like 17 year old Agustina Vivero, known as Cumbio, and a hero to thousands of teenage floggers for her photo log that got her a book deal/autobiography. The New York Times even featured her in an article in 2009.This Justin Bieber look-a-like is known as the Prince of the Floggers. Don’t quite know who he is, but isn’t he adorable??

Photo fromsacameelcorazon

More of the top news stories of the day at Cronica TV…

27 Jan

La ciudad fue un horno (The city was an oven, literal translation) is a segment that Cronica TV has been playing during the summertime. Generally every night, similar footage is shown to investigate the newsworthy activity that is going on at various beaches…

For all you convicted sex-offenders out there, I think you have found the perfect job as a cameraman for Cronica.

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