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Chino en la Playa

25 Jan

Argentine commercial gold strikes again! Summer hits keep on coming, this time with “Chino en la Playa.”  You’d think a government operated program to promote summer tourism to the Atlantic Coast would abstain from creating an offensive, verging on racist, yet mildly funny campaign. Guess again.

Check out the series of videos (six in total) of the Chino en la Playa on the Argentine government’s website.

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Why do songs sound better in English?

24 Apr

Infla la mermelada
Ínflala
Mientras tus pies golpean
Y la mermelada se infla mirala quiere saltar
No quiero
Un lugar donde dormir
Pone tu cola en el piso esta noche
Hace mi dia
Hace mi dia
Ha-hace mi di- hace mi dia
De- infla la mermelada inflala de infla, infla la mermelada
Infla infla infla infla infla

Chau Verano, Te Mando Un Beso

8 Apr

Top Reasons Why To Love Summer In Buenos Aires:

Tits and Ass on the News

It wouldn’t be an Argentine summer without tits and ass shown on TV – and LOTS of it. Everywhere you look HOLA TETAS, HOLA CULOS.  Imagine a combination of a D-level small town news channel teaming up with Wild On E! or MTV Spring Break.


The Commercials

Argentina is known for their funny, inventive commercials – especially when summertime rolls around.  These pretty much exemplify how Argies are quite creative when it comes to publicidades.

Speedy: Oriundos Verano 2011

Sprite: De Lejos Están Todas Buenas

 

Claro: El Tema De Verano


Real and Fake Beaches

Many will say that the best Argentine beaches are in Uruguay.  But despite what these beach snobs say, there are beautiful weekend vacation spots along the Costa Atlántica.  Steer clear of the Mar del Plata craziness, the Jersey Shore’s latino cousin, and check out more relaxed destinations like Mar Azul, Cariló, Mar de Las Pampas and Villa Gesell.

Mauricio Macri at Buenos Aires Playa, wearing a stylish hat

As Artificial As The Tetas

If you can’t make it to the real beach, no need to worry – you can stay in Capital and still get the whole playa experience: yellow umbrellas, sand, beach volleyball, outdoor showers – you know, everything important minus the actual ocean. Visit Buenos Aires Playa, Peru Beach or even a plaza in your barrio and it’s almost like the real thing.

Empty Subte

Riding on the subway can be hell on earth – it’s like walking into a sauna that has never been cleaned, filled with garbage, urine, and pushy old ladies with hand fans.  But when summer rolls around, the number of sweaty men in suits slightly decreases, fatties with dripping arm pits manage not to get up in your grill, and elbowing middle aged woman (and men) tend not to push so hard to get a seat.

The Magician

22 Aug

Che fat ass, get a nose job!

10 Jul

Argentines are known for being brutally honest.  The common extranjero may interpet this as utter rudeness, running home in tears after being called a major fatty.  Political correctness does not really exist compared to the out of control politically correct attitude in the US.  Gain a few pounds? Looking rough in the morning after a long night out? No need to worry!  I guarantee you’ll have several “friends” to call you out on it… “Estás más gorda! Qué estás comiendo?” *Basic translation: You are a fat ass, put down the fork and wire your double chinned jaw shut.

While you may think calling someone gordita (fatty), grandota (giant beast), negra (someone who is dark skinned), or china (Asian, or some with Asian features, or someone with curly hair?) isn’t very nice, it is used more as a “loving” term of a endearment.

Heading out to a costume party? Don’t be surprised if you see a number of inappropriate outfits, I’ve seen people dress in black-face, Nazi gear, and KKK robes.  In my opinion, there are two things at play here… those foreigners who are way too sensitive, and those Argentines who do not know when to shut it.

Asia de Cuba Halloween Party, 2006

You know you love the Jonas Brothers….

15 Jan

Here is a Personal (cell phone company) commercial promoting downloading those pop songs that you secretly love…

Che, Boludo!

30 Dec

Boludo/a is one of those wonderful words in Argentine Spanish that just does not have an English translation to give the meaning justice. The word signifies many different things, sometimes possessing a derogatory connotation, other times used in an affectionate banter among friends (for more decent definitions, check out urbandictionary.

The word can be used as a noun, verb, adjective or all of the above to mean:

1. Dumbass: “That boluda joined the Sarah Palin is my hero group on facebook”
2. Dude: “Boludo, what did you do last night?”
3. Fuckin’ around (not in a sexual manner): I spent all day boludeando (deriving from the verb, boludear) on wikipedia.
4. Douchebag: What a boludo, has a big tattoo that says “AWSOME” across his forearm
Best to watch this commercial entitled “Qué Bolu (abbreviation)” that perfectly embodies the meaning of the word boludo.

Foto, Foto, Foto, Foto!

30 Oct

The commercial above was on the air a few years ago for Personal, a cell phone company that was promoting a new camera phone. One thing that many people do not know about Argentina is that they have some of the funniest commercials around. It’s a sort of self-deprecating type humor that pokes fun of the culture by using hilariously ridiculous characters and sillyass music.

 

Argentine bank now grants loans to people who used to have a penis but now they don’t

30 Apr

Here is this new television advertisement for Banco Provincia, a popular bank in Argentina starring a middle aged transgendered woman.

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