Chino en la Playa

25 Jan

Argentine commercial gold strikes again! Summer hits keep on coming, this time with “Chino en la Playa.”  You’d think a government operated program to promote summer tourism to the Atlantic Coast would abstain from creating an offensive, verging on racist, yet mildly funny campaign. Guess again.

Check out the series of videos (six in total) of the Chino en la Playa on the Argentine government’s website.

Why do songs sound better in English?

24 Apr

Infla la mermelada
Ínflala
Mientras tus pies golpean
Y la mermelada se infla mirala quiere saltar
No quiero
Un lugar donde dormir
Pone tu cola en el piso esta noche
Hace mi dia
Hace mi dia
Ha-hace mi di- hace mi dia
De- infla la mermelada inflala de infla, infla la mermelada
Infla infla infla infla infla

Snakes On A Bus

11 Apr

Police in the Santa Fe province of Argentina arrested a man who smuggled 670 reptiles onto a bus headed for Buenos Aires.  The reptile smuggler loaded boxes and bags filled with 444 boas, vipers and other snakes; 186 endangered tortoises; 40 lizards, and an armadillo.

Suspicions arose when two bags aboard the bus began moving around – when opened, snakes were found slithering around inside.  Police were terrified to open the boxes loaded below the bus in the luggage compartment, in fear of the poisonous reptiles. The accused smuggler spent three months trapping the little creatures in the town of Santiago del Estero, with intention to sell and send to Europe.

Source:

Clarin

AFP

Of course I need a clip from my favorite Park Ranger, Brian Fellows.

Chau Verano, Te Mando Un Beso

8 Apr

Top Reasons Why To Love Summer In Buenos Aires:

Tits and Ass on the News

It wouldn’t be an Argentine summer without tits and ass shown on TV – and LOTS of it. Everywhere you look HOLA TETAS, HOLA CULOS.  Imagine a combination of a D-level small town news channel teaming up with Wild On E! or MTV Spring Break.


The Commercials

Argentina is known for their funny, inventive commercials – especially when summertime rolls around.  These pretty much exemplify how Argies are quite creative when it comes to publicidades.

Speedy: Oriundos Verano 2011

Sprite: De Lejos Están Todas Buenas

 

Claro: El Tema De Verano


Real and Fake Beaches

Many will say that the best Argentine beaches are in Uruguay.  But despite what these beach snobs say, there are beautiful weekend vacation spots along the Costa Atlántica.  Steer clear of the Mar del Plata craziness, the Jersey Shore’s latino cousin, and check out more relaxed destinations like Mar Azul, Cariló, Mar de Las Pampas and Villa Gesell.

Mauricio Macri at Buenos Aires Playa, wearing a stylish hat

As Artificial As The Tetas

If you can’t make it to the real beach, no need to worry – you can stay in Capital and still get the whole playa experience: yellow umbrellas, sand, beach volleyball, outdoor showers – you know, everything important minus the actual ocean. Visit Buenos Aires Playa, Peru Beach or even a plaza in your barrio and it’s almost like the real thing.

Empty Subte

Riding on the subway can be hell on earth – it’s like walking into a sauna that has never been cleaned, filled with garbage, urine, and pushy old ladies with hand fans.  But when summer rolls around, the number of sweaty men in suits slightly decreases, fatties with dripping arm pits manage not to get up in your grill, and elbowing middle aged woman (and men) tend not to push so hard to get a seat.

The Market of Fleas

13 Mar

The San Telmo Antique fair has become a top destination on the sightseeing circuit, with tourists flooding the cobblestone streets converting the barrio into English speaking central.  While the Mercado de las Pulgas (Dorrego y Niceto Vega) doesn’t get nearly as much hype, this Palermo-Colegiales treasure chest makes for a solid alternative, if you are willing to dig.

 

 


Best of San Telmo Street Art

9 Feb

San Telmo, the oldest barrio in Buenos Aires, is known for antique stores, milongas, cobblestone streets, traditional cafés and old school parrillas.  A barrio where the retro-cool hardcore kids live in their high ceiling, historic apartments.  My favorite thing about San Telmo? It houses some of the best street art in the city.  Ditch the crowded San Telmo Feria, flocking around the B-level Tango street performers, and check out the great street art.  Here are some of my faves….

Breaking News: Summer is back another year!

7 Jan

Move over MTV Spring Break and Wild On E!, Summer has hit the República! And you know what that means at all the local Argentine networks…. VAMOS A LA PLAYA!  Or a pool, or a fake beach with artificial sand, really wherever there are girls in bikinis.  Lucky correspondents and creepy cameramen have been counting down the days until the tight assed, thonged out, boluda screaming argentinas migrate to the beach to make their culos dance when the camera comes around. Each local news station dedicates about half of each show to the beach segments, forcing   sunbathers to parade in a circle and answer questions like, “do you have any tattoos?” “are your tits real?” and “what did you eat for lunch?”

It wouldn’t be complete without the inserted cheesy sound effects (boiiing), dangerous close ups on the female body, idiotic commentary about those close ups (EPAAA), and then re-watching it all over again on a nightly talk show where a “panel of experts” dissects the channel’s daily tush-montage.

“Todo Metido” Cameraman’s shadow right on the ass crack

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle in 2011

30 Dec


It’s the end of the year, a time to reflect on the past year’s events, wish loved ones a happy year to come, and bestow onto Mother Earth millions of tiny pieces of papers.  No, the photo above is not a sad attempt to simulate the holiday season’s snow.  According to Argentine tradition, on the last work day of the year it is customary to throw all unneeded documents out of the window to create a fresh start for the following year.  This ritual, similar to that of an angsty adolescent graduating from primary school, is one of the more silly spectacles I have witnessed in this country.

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Not to make a whopping generalization about an entire group of people, but porteños aren’t the most environmentally sound individuals.  The downtown remains littered for the days following the grand tossing of papers, apparently cleaning up the wasteful mess isn’t part of the tradition.

Maybe Jack Johnson should hold a seminar on The 3R’s…

Majority of the photos from TN.com.ar

A Paraguayan education is waiting for you!

29 Dec

Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg knows the importance of a college education.  After dropping out of Harvard, he made the right decision to finally get his degree at Universidad Gran Asunción.

Crónica TV Video of the Day

26 Dec

Man on motorcycle gets in an accident with a taxi driver in Palermo, breaks his neck along with several other body parts, blood splatters everywhere causing quite the scene.  Luckily, the man gets comfortable, crosses his legs, and is able to give a full interview while lying on his back in the middle of the street. Gotta love Crónica to get right in there and cover the story.

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